20 October, 2004
anger management... duh!
i tossed & turned all night long... mata ngantuk tapi takmo lelap... sakit lak hati yg mmg tgh sakit nie... ada org obsess with his so-called interest that he actually ignored me the whole night after berbuka... puas di tanya macam2 tapi jawapannya endah tak endah coz he's occupied with his fav past time... taula smalam dah pulun buat assignments sampai tak tido2 tapi bila dah hantar takyahla nak celebrate sampai tak ingat kat kita... nyampah!
ended up jadik kurang bercakap since sahur... i know, he noticed & he did asked & now it's my time to play ignorant.... haha, mintak maap la it is just me.... whenever i'm not in the mood, i'll be really good at 'NOT TALKING!' hmmm not really 'not' la tak sampai ati laks nak biar org cakap sensorang... maybe kurang... very kurang than usual... most of the times questions will be answered by hmm.. ok.. haah... or just a simple nod... mak kata budak nie kuat tersentap!
haha... dari kecik, sampai skolah, sampai uni... everybody around me will know better than 'kacau' me when i'm in this mood... so by now he should get used to this... sapa suruh buat kita camtu!... but it wont take long... it rarely does... the most will be like 1/2 or 1 day kot... i'll cool down myself... if he knows the right button, i'm sure i'll be fine in no time!... we'll see...
one thing that i always like bout it is that i'll definitely be more productive... more progress on the assignments ke, dishes will always be clean ke, & sometimes in extreme casses i might even clean the whole house haha... yerla i have more better things to do than talk...
tak baik kan! i know tak baik... that's why i don't spent long time in this tak baik mood... hours pass by & i'll be thinking... isk tak baik... kesian derang... dosa kan... buat camnie ngan parents ke, kawan ke, whoever la at that particular time caused me this disorder that i quickly regained my normal self... be all chatty & happy again... hehe... lagipun tipula kalau nak kata sabar jer, despite the things that got on ur nerve... senyum gak, buat cam takde apa2, respek gila kalau ada org boleh buat camtu... haha it's good if i manage to do that too... but i'll be an angel then... but i think it is still better than marah & maki2 org ke hempas2 barang ke... erk... i did sometimes berleter with my brother or get together with my friends melepaskan kemarahan pada org lain... ala stdla bising2 gitu... tapi kat depan org tu hampeh hahah, but that's it la... other than that, at least i channel my anger to do something better... hehe
buka posa kat sini biasa2 jerla... takde de nak dapat semeriah kat mesia... meja takdela penuh lauk @ kuih muih... yerla mana ada param nk beli sumer2 tu!, nak buat kuih sendiri?... hmm i've been thinking bout it, tapi tgkla camna, kalau rajin & kalau org tu boleh buat kita happy balik... hehe jahat!
so kami makan cam biasa jer, macam lauk lunch @ dinner, nothing special... smalam gulai daging dgn telur bungkus... hari nie plan nak masak tom yam kot utk berbuka....